Bitter Sweet

Well, J.D. has left me to go on the spike elk hunt. This is a HUGE deal in my family. My brother and his kids fly in from Missouri every year to come. All the boys go on this same hunt, and have been doing it since I was born because I can't remember not ever having it. They used to allow the girls to come up for one of the days. I'm sure they still would, but we are all so busy and have a different lifestyle than we did 10 years ago. Even so, we are still not allowed to stay the night, it's a boys only ordeal.

Anyways, it's been really calm around here without J.D. I have found myself without anything to do. Dawson has cried every day since he's left. It is the hardest thing for me to see Dawson cry and want his daddy. Nights are little scary b/c I don't have someone here to protect us except neighbors (who were out of town). And I'm a worrier, so I thing of all the things that could go wrong and analyze a plan for each one...it'd be a lot easier if J.D. were just here. This is the bitter part of the whole thing.

The sweet part is the fact that my house actually stays clean...ALL DAY! I am so calm, and less stressed because my house is always clean. Even Dawson has been happier because I don't spend so much time cleaning up and can play with him more. I have everything to make all of my dinner meals! I don't have random things gone. J.D. just grabs what he can and makes something of his own out of it instead of what I make. The milk has lasted forever!! I hate going grocery shopping so I try to do a once a month big shopping day and then sometimes I have to go get small things because J.D. has eaten them, or the milk is gone. AND the gas in the car..well it's still full and has been since the day J.D. left. I know he has to go to school-I'm talking besides school.

Needless to say, it's a bitter sweet couple of days while J.D. is gone. :-) Even with the sweet part of him being gone, I would rather have him here because worrying takes a bigger toll on my life and sleep. I'm pretty sure my life line on my palm gets shorter every year because of all the worrying I do. lol! However, I will NOT admit any of this to J.D. in fear that he will know he is actually right and I'm wrong.. :-)