Andee M'lee Stevens was born on November 7th, 2012 weighing 6 lbs 6 oz., and was 20 inches long. She was born 4 weeks early and was stillborn. She was honestly the most beautiful baby with precious features. She looked a lot like my baby pictures except she had more hair- beautiful brown curly hair.
The birth was the most spiritual experience and it continues to leave the biggest impression on so many lives. One week prior to her birth I had gone in for kick counts- she felt like she was slowing down compared to her normal ways. Everything was fine- it was like murphy's law. The Sunday before she passed away our sweet Dawson and I were waiting in the car and
Dawson said, "Mom- Andee needs to go back to Heavenly Father and Jesus."
I replied, "Why would you say that? That makes mommy really sad."
Dawson, "It's okay mom. Don't be sad. She's happy. She's with family. . . . She'll come back to us though."
I had a great concern fill my heart because since I'd gone in for kick counts, I had been telling J.D. all week that she just wasn't as active as she'd been. I told J.D. what Dawson said and we both didn't quite understand if 'coming back to us' meant the second coming or if she was just going to leave for a bit and come back to earth to be with us here. The next evening I stopped feeling her move. I wanted to go in for kick counts again, but last time they had made us feel really dumb for coming in because she was doing just fine. So we didn't go in- however I'm pretty sure that's the day her spirit left.
The next morning we went in for kick counts, and we couldn't find a heartbeat. The doctor informed us our baby had died. It was words that will never be forgotten and I still hear them. We scheduled to be induced the next morning. During the rest of that day was the longest day and night of our lives. My mom came to be with us as soon as she found out.
The delivery was truly amazing. J.D.'s brother Lucas and his wife Molly, and Loni came at 7 am to be with us the entire day. I can't describe how much comfort that was for us to have them be there the entire time helping us through that hard day. I was already dialated to a 3.5. I was checked at 9:00 and had made it to a 5. Then at 10:30 exactly the nurse came in and we decided she'd check me again at 11. She walked out and I turned right to J.D. and said, "Go get her, I think it's time and she needs to check me now." She checked me and sure enough, it was time. She hurried and set up, the doctor rushed down and within 2 pushes, less than 30 seconds, Andee M'lee was born. No stitiches, no tearing, and she beat Dawson's delivery by 1 push (I only pushed 3 times with him). Everyone kept commenting on how beautiful she was! It was true! She had color and features that were so stunning. Dawson was SO PROUD! He wasn't scared at all and understood that she wasn't coming home with us, however, he understood her spirit was right there with us as well.
J.D.'s brother Lucas and his wife took care of everything with the funeral. J.D. and I were able to just hold Andee at the mortuary all day Thursday and Friday and Saturday morning. The funeral was so perfect. So many answered prayers and support. My brother drove his whole family from Missouri, my dad drove from Colorado, J.D's aunt and uncle came from Idaho, tons of family from everywhere came to be there. J.D.'s parents and Chet and Bobi Sue were coming home from a cruise- and because of the storm, a lot of flights right after theirs were cancelled to fly into SLC. It was a huge blessing they were able to make it. The snow was prayed for by J.D. He asked that if we were to have any precipitation let it be snow. We were driving home the night it started to snow and just felt like it represented Andee's pure spirit and also that it covered up all the bad in the world to make her funeral more pure and clean of any bad in this world.
Dawson and I made a bracelet for Andee and Dawson was so excited to put it on her. He is so proud of her and I know he has a special bond with her even though she isn't physically here. He continues to love her everyday and reminds us of it- it's the sweetest thing.
Saturday morning we got her smelling like a little baby and made her look beautiful for the day. We'd asked my mom and J.D.'s mom to be there to help us. It was one of my favorite memories because it was the first time and last time here on earth that I would be able to doll up my baby girl. The dark spot on her cheek as discoloration happened that morning- before that she stayed pink. The dark spot was a blister that had dried up which was invisible to everyone that day. Only the pictures show it was there.
J.D.'s parents gave us some golden baby shoes with diamonds in them to hang in our window. It's so when the sun shines through, rainbows are reflected everywhere which is to remind us of Andee. Dawson shook them and just kept trying to keep her happy he said. It was really like her spirit was there and he was interacting with her.
We got lots of pictures and family photos because this is all we will have of Andee here on earth. Dawson was loving showing off his sister and kept introducing her to everyone. He is so amazing and we couldn't be more grateful for him being here with us.
Everyday and every moment is a struggle, but we know her spirit is here. Dawson tells us so many things about Andee- it's so neat. We don't know what we'd do without him. He keeps reminding us of how happy Andee is and how she is with Heavenly Father. He's our little spiritual giant and gets us through most days. I can't describe all the spiritual experiences we continue to have, and how Andee's passing has truly opened our eyes. We know she must have been pretty special to only need 36 weeks here on earth to accomplish he mission and then be granted celestial glory immediately. We definitely miss her and can hardly wait until we get to raise her. Thank goodness we have the knowledge of the gospel to help get us through- I can't imagine going through this without the gospel knowledge.
As we left the graveside to go to the church for a luncheon that the Holden ward had prepared for us (THANK U) we looked into the sky and this is what we saw. The heavens opened and I could only imagine Andee holding hands with Aunt JoAnn and walking away to the spirit world.
Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and supporting us. :-)
