Can you be too on the ball???

So here are my thoughts right now... ever since we decided that I should finish up my schooling I feel i am back to my old self of being extreme clean, writing everything down, and always having a plan. Although these things sound like good things, I'm not sure they are....or I've not found a middle ground.
Since I've had Dawson I have really tried to learn to calm down with knowing your house can't ALWAYS be clean, and sometimes you just have to play things by ear and not plan everything. This has led me to being able to sleep better, and live life a little slower. Don't get me wrong it definitely wasn't all at once change because anytime I have something to do as far as putting together a shower, or something of the sort I wouldn't sleep well, couldn't concentrate well, felt stressed, didn't pay attention to Dawson as much, and put up a strong front with J.D.

To make this short, it seems like it's getting back to that. I feel like I need to be doing something every minute of the day. I am constantly checking my email to make sure i don't miss a thing. I am becoming obsessed with making sure my house looks extremely clean, especially when people come over. One of our home teachers even said, "your house looks REALLY clean....not that it isn't always clean, but it looks so neat and tidy." Ya, he dug himself a hole kinda..lol, but I understood what he was saying. I also feel uptight all the time, and can't fall into a deep sleep because my mind won't stop running. I used to take sleeping pills in high school, you can ask people...they never worked. As mentioned before, I am really into writing everything down because I will forget....sounds weird, but my mind gets so caught up in other thoughts, that I do forget a lot of things. So I write down on my calendar, and make a lot of lists....The problem with lists is I keep making new ones...until finally I combine them all and realize I've done most of these things, there are just odds and ends. This is where stress comes in... The odds and ends usually don't have anything to do with me and something I can get done. It's other people. I lose patience in waiting for replies, or mail. I get frustrated because my list gets longer with things i have no control over. So I overwhelm myself with frustration, stress, and obsession in finding a way to get the list checked off. I will email, and email, and call, and call, and write, and write until I just break.
This all sounds so stupid, but it's true... I have anxiety with not being on the ball and having my checklist completed each day. You would think I need medication. What an awful thing to do... and yes this is even more ridiculous because i'm admitting all of this. So I do realize, but I have yet to find a middle ground and as J.D. would say and has said, "Calm the freak down!" LOL! Yes, my husband uses this phrase all to much. We laugh about it because he says it all the time to me. Anyways, this is a really long post with a lot of ranting...any ideas on middle ground?