When we came home, some of our friends came to visit us. Jeff and Andrea Roundy brought us a necklace shaped like a heart. On the heart is says, "Andee M'lee" and on the back it is her actual footprints from the hospital. It is such a special necklace and continues to have more significance every day. Sunday, right before New Years we went to church. Dawson was brought to me by his amazing teachers. He said he was scared and felt alone. He just wanted to be with his mom because he was sad. It's so hard because I know Dawson has feelings and is still affected by Andee not being able to be with us.
Me: "Daws, you really have to go to class because mommy needs to go listen in her class. What can I do so you won't be scared or sad?"
Dawson: "Well.....I have a great idea. (pause) Maybe I could wear your Andee necklace so Andee can be with me and I won't be alone.....?"
Of course, I tried to hold back my tears, "That is a great idea. But you have to keep it a secret and wear it under your shirt so know one knows and it won't get broken."
So we put it on and tucked it under his shirt. He could feel the heart on his skin and said, "Mom! I can feel her heart on my heart."
It means so much to me that he still has a bond with her, and thinks about her often. I don't want her to be forgotten and one of the biggest reasons we wanted another baby was for Dawson to have a best friend to always play with. Even though she can't physically be with us, we know he see's her and feels her. He doesn't just create the bond on his own, she really is with him and I'm so grateful for it.
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