Well, it's been a long road and we've made it to the 3rd trimester! Every day, every week, and every moment I am constantly praying we get to bring a baby home this time. This is why I feel it to be a huge milestone again to make it to the 3rd trimester. We are starting to get more ready and trying not to hold back on getting excited. We've thrown around a few names, but the one Dawson is sticking to is Monty. It's a name we've had since before Dawson was born and we really like it a lot. For some reason, we just want to make sure that's what his name is supposed to be so we aren't completely sticking with it quite yet.
He is a pretty calm baby compared to the other two, but I feel that he has a personality that fits that as well. I obviously am concerned with making sure I can feel him, but he just isn't quite as active so he worries me a lot. I try to pay attention to the spirit and be aware of what my feelings are in order to know if he's okay or not. So I will be realistic with how he normally is as far as being calm and not moving a lot during the day. After awhile I finally just can't take it anymore and decide I need to do a kick count session. THEN the minute I look at my phone and decide to start timing, within 5 minutes he's like a little jumping jack! He will give me a good 2-3 minutes of constant movement. I feel like he's saying, "Mom! I'm fine. Everything is okay. I'm still here." I will get a million kicks in that few minutes, and then he calms right down and I don't feel him the rest of the hour. I truly believe he can sense my worry, and his spirit is right there with me. He will worry me up until I can't take it anymore, and then calm me down for a few minutes. Then he worries me again until I finally start to react, and then he gives me a little more movement just to calm my fears. I wonder if this will be his personality when he is with us and grown up....?? If so, I have proof it started in the womb by documenting it here. I guess in a couple years we can follow up with it.
Another way I can always get him to move, and this has happened over the last 2-3 weeks without fail. J.D. is living proof of witnessing this. If I really get worried about movement, I will push and push on my stomach, BUT he will not budge. So, one time I decided to hum, 'You are my Sunshine.'
History behind the song: It's the song I would hum to Andee the week we buried her. Since then, it's the song Dawson always wants me to sing to him, and the song he sings to Andee when he needs her or misses her.
So, I will start humming that tune and it might take a second run of the tune, but this little baby will start moving and kicking a ton. It's a safety for me to turn to when I get really worried and he won't even move when I poke at him. It's on cue every single time, which I've turned too many times once I figured it out.
I will see the doctor's every 2 weeks until November when I will go in for weekly testing. So far I haven't really craved anything. I really love BLT's, but it's not a necessity. He is really making me gain weight and look like a balloon just like Dawson did. I haven't developed any new stretch marks, but I don't doubt they will come soon. He really likes to lay on my nerves and has caused a lot of pain along with ligaments stretching, but the further I get a long, the less pain I am in. I used to barely be able to hold my leg up to get it in a pant legging without cringing with pain through my body, but it's getting easier and less painful. So far no hiccups or digging at my ribs. He likes to hang out low :-) . I sang a song to J.D. the other day,
"Does this baby hang low? Does he wobble to and fro? Does he tie me up in knots? Does he tie me up in bows? I'd like to throw him over my shoulder like a continental soldier, Does this baby hang low? YES!"
Pretty creative right? I thought so too. Other than that, I'm happy to report we are making it week by week. I'm starting to get pretty emotional with the thought of Andee's 1st birthday coming up, but I know I can make it through that. I just try not to less my emotions get overboard to where it affects the baby which has been a constant struggle from day 1. I constantly have flashbacks of her and the week of her death. It's something that keeps J.D. and I awake for hours at night just thinking about it. It's those thoughts that keep us from getting too excited about bringing home a baby and have fear lingering over our minds and hearts all the time. Heavenly Father is truly blessing us by helping us stay calm and know that no matter what, everything will be okay. I'm so grateful for the gospel and our knowledge.
