I need some serious advice!

So i know I've posted about Dawson sleeping all the way through the night, which he really has done several times. But since I last posted about it, was the last time... I'm pretty sure its been over a month. I am DEAD tired. He wakes up around 4 or 4:30 and I have tried
letting him cry himself to sleep. 2 reasons it hasn't worked- J.D. doesn't get sleep and so he gives in, and Dawson throws up everywhere which makes it worse to just let him cry.
I have tried sleeping on the floor by his crib, and in the rocking chair just after he wakes up to let him know I'm there. He tries to come lay by me, or climb to have me hold him and I'm very strong, I tell him, "No, you need to lay down. Mom isn't going to hold you." So I sing to him, or read another book, play primary music without words- NONE has worked. I have done this method for 8 days straight and i had no improvement.
I tried making a bed for him on the floor by our bed and practicing multiple times with him, to show him that he needs to come from his room to the bed on the floor and lay down. This only works if I lay on the floor with him. So I did this for 5 days or so and then tried having him do it on his own....nope. He just cries until he throws up or until I get him.
I've tried rocking him back to sleep, and holding him, but once I go to lay him down he wakes up. So I rocked him for 1 week straight for a whole HOUR and then laid him down. Well, he started crying after I had laid down in the bed for 10 min.
So, the last resort we thought of so far was just bringing him in to let him sleep with us. This results in J.D. moving to the couch, and Dawson waking up SEVERAL more times in the night because every time I move, he wakes up. He also feels for me and my hair, if he can't feel it immediately, he starts screaming.
I have limited the amount of candy and pop he's drinking and eating, making him eat more solids and less sippy cups, and have limited TV/Movie time and the kind of shows he's watching. i have given him benedryl ..yes sadly I have done so, but I think he metabolizes it so fast it doesn't work-(I have this problem with all medication and especially anything the is an anesthetic.)
In the end after he wakes up, we are both awake for 2 hours almost, and then he sleeps so good from 6-9. He doesn't go to bed til 10 usually, so the problem is the 2 hours being awake. I end up breaking down more times than necessary. I just need my sleep too so I can function properly.

I am asking for some serious advice. I will try and do anything. All you moms out there- help another mom in need please! :-) Thanks!

Estate Sale!

Well, as most of you know I go to these AMAZING Estate Sales in St. George all the time and get the best deals ever! So there is another one this weekend and here is the site to check out all the stuff they will be selling, where its at and the time. REMEMBER!!! 50% OFF EVERYTHING ON SUNDAY 9am-3pm
www.suzannesales.com
Maybe I will see some of you there!

12 days til what....??

BAHAMAS!! Our family cruise is coming up sooo soon! J.D. and I have been tanning for 2 reasons, 1-we don't want to burn out there and not enjoy the rest of the cruise. 2- J.D. is definitely hotter when he tan. lol! My sister Jori highlighted my hair today-THANK YOU TO HER! She did an amazing job! She's the only one that has ever colored my hair perfectly every time she's done it. I'm getting everything prepped for Grandma Stevens to watch Dawson... I can't lie, I'm having anxiety attacks about leaving him.

I've only left Dawson for 12 hours-longest, and just once since he came to earth. I'm not one for having people watch my kids because I like knowing what's going on, and my mom taught me to just take my kids with me everywhere and learn to enjoy life with them. So... I'm freaking out. The only thing that helps me is knowing I'm leaving him with his Grandma. She loves to go on walks, be outside, play with him, sing to him, and everytime we go to Holden, she just loves to give him attention. She's raised 7 children and so..she's basically got it handled. Dawson just loves her so much and loves everything she likes to do. She will just spoil him, so that thought is making it easier.

I'm writing down everything there is to know about Dawson and his schedule, eating habits, be prepared for stuff, ideas of calming down that he likes, medication amounts and what he can and can't take, allergies, TV shows/movies he can and can't watch-he's been having nightmares...over some cartoon shows and movies, and a bunch of other stuff...it's probably more for me and Grandma will never look at it, but it makes it easier knowing I left with some input than just dropping him off.

The other fear is parasailing...yes that's the excursion my family is going on ...I'm nervous that a shark will jump up to eat me! Or flying over the ocean and knowing I HAVE to land in the ocean. Sadly, I am scared of water. Especially when you can't see the bottom. Water can kill a person so easily and fast, no air, sharks and other animals that can hurt you....I can't hardly breathe right. I get scared at lakes because I think of all the dead bodies that are in there at the bottom-what if a bone comes up and gets me...stupid, but that's me.

Anyways, I'm counting down in good and bad ways... I'm excited to be on a ship and experience the outskirts of the the USA. A lot of first time stuff is about to happen... WHAAAHOOO!

Can you be too on the ball???

So here are my thoughts right now... ever since we decided that I should finish up my schooling I feel i am back to my old self of being extreme clean, writing everything down, and always having a plan. Although these things sound like good things, I'm not sure they are....or I've not found a middle ground.
Since I've had Dawson I have really tried to learn to calm down with knowing your house can't ALWAYS be clean, and sometimes you just have to play things by ear and not plan everything. This has led me to being able to sleep better, and live life a little slower. Don't get me wrong it definitely wasn't all at once change because anytime I have something to do as far as putting together a shower, or something of the sort I wouldn't sleep well, couldn't concentrate well, felt stressed, didn't pay attention to Dawson as much, and put up a strong front with J.D.

To make this short, it seems like it's getting back to that. I feel like I need to be doing something every minute of the day. I am constantly checking my email to make sure i don't miss a thing. I am becoming obsessed with making sure my house looks extremely clean, especially when people come over. One of our home teachers even said, "your house looks REALLY clean....not that it isn't always clean, but it looks so neat and tidy." Ya, he dug himself a hole kinda..lol, but I understood what he was saying. I also feel uptight all the time, and can't fall into a deep sleep because my mind won't stop running. I used to take sleeping pills in high school, you can ask people...they never worked. As mentioned before, I am really into writing everything down because I will forget....sounds weird, but my mind gets so caught up in other thoughts, that I do forget a lot of things. So I write down on my calendar, and make a lot of lists....The problem with lists is I keep making new ones...until finally I combine them all and realize I've done most of these things, there are just odds and ends. This is where stress comes in... The odds and ends usually don't have anything to do with me and something I can get done. It's other people. I lose patience in waiting for replies, or mail. I get frustrated because my list gets longer with things i have no control over. So I overwhelm myself with frustration, stress, and obsession in finding a way to get the list checked off. I will email, and email, and call, and call, and write, and write until I just break.
This all sounds so stupid, but it's true... I have anxiety with not being on the ball and having my checklist completed each day. You would think I need medication. What an awful thing to do... and yes this is even more ridiculous because i'm admitting all of this. So I do realize, but I have yet to find a middle ground and as J.D. would say and has said, "Calm the freak down!" LOL! Yes, my husband uses this phrase all to much. We laugh about it because he says it all the time to me. Anyways, this is a really long post with a lot of ranting...any ideas on middle ground?

J.D. got a job!

Well, its exciting news for us...J.D. goyt a job! We are super excited! We have..well I have been extremely stressed out worrying about what we were going to do this summer for work and how we were going to pay for bills. Since March we have had 2 jobs that we were relying on and they both didn't pan out. So he is working for the people that own our apartment complex and a few others in town. He is loving it! The best part is, he gets full time in the summer, part time in the fall, every holiday and weekend off! :-) It works out perfect with our life! AND its here in cedar so I will have a husband all summer finally! ...we will both be very busy, but we get to see eachother every night. :-)
I'm very grateful to have a husband who is willing to work so hard and provide for his family. And I'm extremely grateful we were able to find a job that works with our life, and a job that J.D. loves doing! He explained to me the other day that he could build a house with all of his experience..except carpet. Well, needless to say he learned how to install carpet last week! lol! He was pretty darn excited!

Shoes & Socks

Dawson is such a smart kid.... I used to think he was just average and everyone kept telling me how smart he was, and they couldn't believe how much he understood and how well he could communicate. Not that I don't like to brag about Dawson, but I just didn't want to come off in a bad way. Well, I think this situation shows a lot of his potential.

Keep in mind that Dawson has been able to get MATCHING pairs of shoes since February..so 15 months ish. We didn't even teach him it either. He loves to go get his shoes that he wants to wear for the day and and ask me to put them on. I can tell him, "Dawson, those don't match your outfit. Will you go find some different ones to wear?" And he does. Lately I put his sock shelf down lower so he could grab them with his shoes. Last Wednesday I showed him where his socks were and explained he needed to wear them with his shoes. We left for the entire weekend, and got back Sunday. This morning he brought me SOCKS & SHOES, and said, "Shoes please?" It was so cute! So here he is. He insists on wearing his hat. :)This is going to be bragging a bit about Dawson, but I think once in awhile its okay.
Dawson is 19 months old and...
I can ask him to get me a drink, and he will!
Gets a cup and pushes the spout down on the water jug and fills it up, then brings it to me.
He will throw his diapers away without asking, and throws the poopy ones outside.
He will only come get me to help open the door.
He helps pick up all the toys in the tub and room.
I can ask him to take things to his room and he will without complaining
He basically knows how to cook Mac and Cheese.
He just can't reach everything, but he has the steps down!
He is getting pretty good and helping me get him ready for the day and night
brushing teeth, combing hair, washing/bathing, dressed/undressed, lotion
he knows how to pray, sing hymns, and partake of the sacrament
He already has started practicing driving
He knows what keys to use for the car, the truck, and mail
He knows what mail box is ours
He's pretty good and putting the keys in right, but is still working on it
He pushes his chair in after getting down
Loves to do dishes
Gets a blanket when he's tired

He's a pretty independent boy! He can understand everything we say, and speaks around 30-40 words. He is definitely at a testing stage where he will see how far he can get with anything. We have good and bad days, but for the most part he is a very happy boy.
Sorry to brag on this post, but Dawson deserves it :-)

6 days in Holden

Well, to start off...drum roll please..........
I AM OFFICIALLY A HUNTER SAFETY GRADUATE!
lol! I spent 2 weekends in Holden to take Hunter Safety with my brother-in-law Parker. We both passed with ease. I don't know why I never took it before, but it's done and over with now. WHOOHOO! I'm not much of a hunter, but I do like to go.
Up in Holden we had such a good time! I love it because i can let Dawson play outside and go in and out whenever he wants. He never wants to be inside.

This is Dawson and Uncle Parker ready for church! :)We also were able to go to my sister-in-law's baby shower. It was so cute! I caught a picture of Dawson and his cousin Taylee. They had so much fun together and played so good too! I think as Dawson gets older we will have to explain he probably shouldn't 'love' on his cousin too much...but can you blame him, she SOOO CUTE! :-)
(he just barely saw this pic and gave Taylee a kiss from the computer)

AND...lately Dawson has been into streaking...not sure where it came from, but he loves it! He struggle to get his diaper off, but eventually succeeded. He tried to come inside, but I explained if he was going to be naked he had to stay outside so he didnt' pee on grandma's carpet. ;) So he walked to the edge of the deck and stared off into the distance. ...for a VERY LONG time! I don't think I've laughed so hard.

In a nutshell, we have GREAT memories in Holden. Dawson spent so much time with his Grandma and went on so many walks. He learned what a cow says and Grandpa Stevens taught him the primary song, Popcorn Popping on an Apricot Tree. Now Dawson loves to say "pop!pop!" and do the actions.
Update for me, I start school in a couple of weeks and am way excited to finish my degree. I'm also getting ready to do some spring cleaning before I start school. I'm also still tanning and working out so I can enjoy our cruise in a couple of weeks in the BAHAMAS!!!
J.D. is very excited to finish up this semester and O-chem. He just started a maitenance job for the apartment owners that we live in. It's perfect for our situation. He spends lots of time studying and getting ready to take the DAT. And we are finishing up some things to be ready to apply to Dental schools in 1 month.... nerve racking for sure!
Other than that, we stay busy and love life! We are so excited for warm weather and to see family this summer.

Deal or No Deal...

I have decided to go back to school! It's been a long process figuring everything out though...I spent many hours and days getting things ready to go to SUU, but after talking to a very RUDE advisor and a nice advisor who basically said the same things (in a nicer way) we came to the conclusion that there was no way I would be able to finish at SUU. they have some dumb requirements about specializing in an area along with a teaching degree. The advisors said quote, " The specialization is just to have more background in that area. It doesn't actually qualify you to teach just that subject." So I was trying to do Art...because I have some classes already taken...although it would take me 2 more semesters just to finish specializing then 2 1/2 years of the program and also 2 semesters in MORE pre-reqs. *by the way, I was ready to enter into the program at UVU...which only takes 1 1/2 plus student teaching. WE ARE IN THE SAME STATE AND GET THE SAME LICENSE....dont' you think they should have some of the same program at all the utah schools for teaching???? Well, they don't... 16 credits of elementary education classes from UVU would NOT transfer as education classes at SUU. I couldnt' believe it!

So after much confusion and frustration I called my lovely, and only sister in law who saved my life. She told me of the program she got her degree in and it looked like that was what I needed to do. It's at Western Governors University. It's an online program, but fully accredited. My sister in law finished in 1 1/2 with THREE CHILDREN! So I know I can do it if she did! It works so well for our situation of possibly/hopefully moving in 1 year, and I am going to be able to finish. It's totally up to me on how long it takes me.

On a side note, we have been debating on another baby...I'm not excited about being prego again, not in the least bit...but its mainly for Dawson. I want him to have siblings he can play with. If we get pregnant this year they will be 2 1/2 years apart... if we get pregnant next year they will be 3 1/2 years apart. I think over 4 years is too much.

So the deal J.D. and I made is....when I finish my schooling we will start trying again. Which is a huge motivator for me since I don't want our children being more than 4 years apart. As you can see I have to get my butt in gear to finish... and I will finish. I start May 1st! WHOOHOO! I am extremely excited to finish! A BIG THANK YOU TO JAMIE!